Manchester United's Rio Ferdinand's Crisis

Manchester United’s over-rated “ball-playing” centre-half Rio Ferdinand is apparently having a crisis of conscience.

The 28-year-old defender has admitted that he’s not worth the massive £29million price tag United were forced to cough up to take him from Leeds United.

“I don’t think anyone is worth that kind of money”, he says. But will he start handing back a sizeable chunk of his £100,000 a week wage?

One imagines not.

Arise Queen Alan Shearer Of Newcastle United

He may have been famously referred to as ‘Mary Poppins’ by a couple of Newcastle United directors, but no-one could ever have mistaken Alan Shearer for the Queen,. Until now that is.

The BBC reports that hundreds of fake £20 notes bearing the image of the former England star have been seized by Trading Standards.

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Rogue Trader Nick Leeson Manages Glway United

Mr Rogue Trader himself, Nick Leeson, has been promoted from general manager of Galway United Football Club to chief executive, as the 40-year-old continues to successfully rebuild his life in Ireland.

The 40-year-old, who brought down Barings Bank after racking up massive losses through dodgy trades in Singapore, has committed to the Eircom League club for the next two and a half years.

Although, if I was involved with the club, I'd be keeping an eye on the new boss.

Manchester United Kill The Planet

APPARENTLY the environment isn’t a big topic of discussion in the Manchester United dressing room.

The famous club have been forced to extend their training ground car park in order to accommodate their star players’ gas-guzzling motors. Wayne Rooney’s recent purchase of a £70,000 Hummer H2, which probably uses more fuel than a small Lancashire town, is the latest eco-unfriendly car to pull up outside United’s Carrington base.

Newcastle United Boss Losing Already

The move to St James' Park has, so far, brought only injury woe to Michael Owen and now new owner Mike Ashley is having some trouble of his own, as shares in his Sports Direct company dropped by a quarter, wiping £175million off his fortune.

Profits for the year to May fell by £36million to £60million with the dismal weather badly affecting sales.

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Carlos Tevez Cannot Escape West Ham United

Despite his world-class footballing talent, Carlos Tevez will go into the history books for the massive furore his move to the Premiership has caused.

With the striker’s move to Old Trafford continuing to stall, the player’s owner Kia Joorabchian is now suing West Ham United for breach of contract in an attempt to push through the deal.

Could the Premier League have been, and continue to be, any less helpful and decisive in all this?

Roman Abramovich Finds Entertainment At Chelsea

Russian oligarch and Chelsea owner Roman Abramovich has decided to build a live music venue underneath Stamford Bridge, all for a cool £7million.

The venue will only hold 400 to 500 people and will not be open to the public. The Rolling Stones are rumoured to be pencilled in for a spectacular Christmas launch.

Looks like the billionaire is getting tired of football. And with Chelsea hardly the most attractive side in the world, who can blame him for seeking entertainment elsewhere?

Arsenal Prepare For US Swoop

So after months of circling above the Emirates Stadium, is American billionaire Stan Kroenke finally going to get his way and take over the consummate traditional English football club of Arsenal FC?

Well, it does seem as though chairman Sir Peter Hill-Wood’s stiff upper lip is starting to quiver as the US sports media tycoon finally launches his bid to get some hot Premiership action.

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Nightmare For Former Chelsea And West Ham Star

It's rather reassuring to hear that even the nation’s wealthier subjects can sometimes fall foul of the dreaded bailiff.

That’s exactly what has happened to West Ham United striker Carlton Cole, who despite his massive salary, estimated at around £20,000 a week, has still managed to see four cars worth around £264,000 repossessed in just the last two months.

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BT Target Mid-Table Security In Premier League

While Sky Sports will no doubt focus their live football coverage on those sides fighting for the Premiership title, BT has decided to target the fans of those less glamorous clubs.

The telecoms company is offering football fans the chance to watch live Premiership games for as little as £9.99 a month in a move set to put pressure on Sky who currently charge £34 a month for its sports channels.

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Roman Abramovich's Midget Submarine; Chelsea Dive

He may have decided to keep a closer eye on the purse strings when it comes to his Chelsea FC plaything, but billionaire Roman Abramovich is still splashing the cash, this time on three mini-submarines.

The so-called midget subs cost around £80,000 each and the 40-year-old Russian has decided to kit out each of his three luxury yachts with one of the crafts to help him escape a terrorist attack in true James Bond style.

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Fernando Torres Takes It Easyjet

He may have just become Liverpool’s most expensive ever signing, but £21million star Fernando Torres showed he lacked any diva qualities when he jetted in to Merseyside on a budget Easyjet flight.

Not surprisingly, the other passengers were rather stunned by the sight of the 23-year-old superstar slumming it with a plane full of sunburnt scousers.